Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Magic of Meals: Offering Help with Specifics

Last post I talked about requesting help with selection.  Another reason bringing meals works so well is that it uses the principle of offering help with specifics:  just meals, for a set number of days.  These are not hard limits.  How many meals for new moms arrive with a little extra gift for the baby? 
People want to say, “If I can do ANYTHING, just let me know.”  Let me show you how that feels.  Listen to these two statements:
#1        Let’s get together for lunch sometime.
#2        Let’s get together for lunch sometime next month.
The second is more real, because of the time limit.  When you offer help to your friend with cancer, I recommend you offer a few ways you could help.  Here are three examples.
Example 1:  Could I bring by a pizza, Chinese food or burgers? 
            Implied Offer:  I’m buying, not cooking.
Example 2:  Would you like chicken and rice, spaghetti and meatballs, or do you have any dietary limitations? 
            Implied Offer:  I’ll cook to order. 
Example 3:  I’m flexible on Thursdays and Fridays.  I could carve out a day and come by and do cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, you name it. 
            Implied Offer:  I’m offering time, not money.
Some of us have less time than money, and others of us have less money than time.  We all have real limits in our lives, so there will be some kinds of help that will be easier for us.  Ephesians 2:10 says that God has created us in Christ Jesus for good works, which He has prepared in advance that we should walk in them.  If God doesn’t “set us up” to help, we couldn’t help at all.  We need to relax in the knowledge that each of us doesn’t have to do everything.  If we do what we can, together, we can get the job done. 
Next post, we'll talk about words that help.

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